Muppet's Journal

I am able to tell people what's going on with the flat and everything without breaking down every 5 minutes, which is a relief on two fronts - I'm not constantly crying all the time, which was freaking me out, and being able to share with people what is going on is a relief - they know now why I'm all over the place at the moment, and not at work as much as I should be. I'm also more positive than I was about my brother getting a job - he hasn't yet, but I'm more hopeful than I was that it will happen. I know that if he doesn't in the long run that I WILL lose the flat, but I'm focusing on positive thoughts as much as I can at the moment, which is far less draining than the constant state of panic that I HAD been in the last few weeks!

And whilst I was writing this, my aunt just phoned to say she has the cheque - eep. That's it then, I'm committed to this course of action, which is the biggest gamble I have ever taken. Fingers crossed for me, the next few weeks are going to be crucial. 

I'm very glad I have my fandoms right now - if I hadn't had them to hide in the last few weeks I think I would've crumbled long before now ;) Plus I have some amazing friends on here who've been a huge support and I am extremely grateful to you all :) Especially huge hugs to _gater_ who has been remembering the little things lately (usually my job!) and that has really touched me, Cole J who inspires me and makes me realise that I CAN get through this, and gayalondiel who is a new friend, but already someone I feel very close to and who I hope I will continue to be friends with for a very long time to come.